Passengers are told not to leave personal items behind when disembarking (we don't use simple language like 'get off', though we would love to use something close to that) and we often get comments like, 'Oh, yeah, and there's me thinking I'd leave you my lap top', or 'Oh thanks for that, like I'm stupid or something', and so on. Well, dear reader, let me tell you......

  • Lap tops - every day.
  • Mobile phones - everyflight (almost)
  • Passports - oh yes, all the time
  • Wallets - always
  • Hand luggage - regularly
  • Clothing - all the time
  • mp3 players
  • Books - with bookmarks suggesting unfinished
  • USED CONDOMS (suggesting finished!) - in seat pockets,¬†oh yes!

The list is endless, and it happens every flight. So, for all those sarcastic passengers who think our announcements are patronising and annoying, take heed!

Sadly, unlike the drugs squad, we're unable to keep any of these things. We are required to reward forgetfulness with integrity and make every effort to reunite people with their chattels. And we do, because we are, if nothing else, responsible, professional and caring. Oh yes.